EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION IN MARRIAGE
When Samuel and Hannah faced the same challenge, Samuel handled the agony of his wife in a matured and God fearing way. In 1 Samuel 1:8, the Bible says Elkanah, her husband would say to her, Hannah why are you weeping? Why didn’t you eat? Why were you downhearted? Didn’t I mean more than 10 sons? From the tone of his language, you could see a caring, loving and considerate husband. A man who is willing to support and encourage his wife. A man who is ready and willing to share the burden and agony of his wife.
As a reader, I don’t know your culture. Assuming, your culture permits you to have more than one wife. One has children and the other has no child. Will you care for the one with no child or you will abandon her to her misfortune? Your guess is as good as mine.
Similarly, in Genesis 25:20-21, when Rebecca was facing the challenge of barrenness, her husband, Isaac, supported her, entreated her and pleaded with God on her behalf. He knew his limit hence he called on the Almighty God, the One who could rescue his wife from barrenness to deliver her from shame and embarrassment.
We could learn the trust and confidence Abraham, a man of faith had on the Almighty God. The Bible tells us that Isaac prayed to the Lord on behalf of his wife, because she was barren (Genesis 25:21). The Lord answered his prayer, and his wife Rebekkah became pregnant. For someone reading this article, no matter how long you have been trusting God for the fruit of the womb, before this year is over, the God that answered Sarah will answer you and cause you to be fruitful and grant you mouth of testimony in Jesus name.
The three husbands in this article and in the above scenarios faced the same challenge but handled it in different ways, based on how effective they were in communication with one another. For husband and wife to live in harmony, effective communication is one of the tools you need.
Remember, Jacob married two sisters: Leah and Rachel, the daughters and children of his uncle. The initial plan of Jacob was to marry Rachel. According to Genesis 29:18, Jacob was in love with Rachel and said, I will work for you for seven years in return for your younger daughter Rachel. Laban did not mention anything about his custom until the day of the wedding when he decided to play fast with Jacob by given him Leah instead of Rachel.
The Bible made us to understand in Genesis 29:30 that Jacob loved Rachel more than Leah. In verse 31, the Bible says when the Lord saw that Leah was not loved, he opened her womb, but Rachel was barren. The barrenness of Rachel was not due to immorality but because God closed her womb. Now when Rachel complained to her husband that she had no child, the Bible says Jacob was angry and dismissive in response to his wife’s agony.
Is this not one of the challenges of many marriage relationships today? Especially among African and/or Asian culture where barrenness or infertility is seen as the fault of the woman. Family members, friends and co-workers would remind or ask when we can come for the celebration of your new baby. Even on the day of the marriage, the prayer usually is in nine month’s time, we would come for another celebration. When this does not happen, the pressure would be on the wife. The general believe is that it is the fault of the woman.
I met my wife before we became born again and we married before we knew Christ as our Lord and Savior. We waited for four years after our marriage before we had a child. Those four years were hell for my wife and I because of the pressure from our parents, friends and relatives. Relatives continued to remind us that our parents would like to see their grandchildren. Mind you, we were not the only children of our parents. To the glory of God, they saw their grandchild but the challenge was tasking. At a stage, it almost became unbearable but by His grace, we were able to overcome it despite the fact that we were not born again. If God could give us the grace to overcome, you will overcome in Jesus’ name.
When Samuel and Hannah faced the same challenge, Samuel handled the agony of his wife in a matured and God fearing way. In 1 Samuel 1:8, the Bible says Elkanah, her husband would say to her, Hannah why are you weeping? Why didn’t you eat? Why were you downhearted? Didn’t I mean more than 10 sons? From the tone of his language, you could see a caring, loving and considerate husband. A man who is willing to support and encourage his wife. A man who is ready and willing to share the burden and agony of his wife.